rock foundation

Peach blossom

Living a joyful life takes practice and awareness of all God’s daily blessings. This is easy to do when life “feels good” but on the hard days, it takes more effort. For me, it requires a slow pace at life, the knowing of Be still and know that He is God.

He alone is the eternal God, the creator of everything. I remind myself that, God is good, God is good to me, God is good at being God. These words from Lysa TerKeurst, remind me to TRUST HIM in a childlike way.

On the days, that I let my spirit marinate in His Word and Love for me, I see so many simple blessings.

the love of my children
laughter and silliness that fill these walls

We live a simple but meaningful life here on our little farm. We feed, and play with baby chics, collect eggs to sell to our neighbors and gather for home cooked meals.

I was talking with a old friend today. I’m so very thankful that the Lord puts people right in our path to lift us up, at just the right moment. For most of my adult years this person has been my biggest cheerleader. Tells me what a good mother I am, that I am a wonderful woman of God, that the husband I had was blessed to have me. But all the while, behind closed doors I was being told how unlovable and not good enough of a wife that I am. I was stupid, ignorant, read the Bible too much, cooked and cleaned too much, basically everything that makes me the woman I am was a punishment. I lived so confused for so long. At some point I began believing these lies. Maybe I’m not good enough. What’s wrong with me that my husband doesn’t love me? It must be me because he says it so much. I was nearly crushed in spirit BUT GOD!! God opened my eyes to the lies. He revealed to me that this man’s brokenness is his heart. The hurt in him had turned to anger that gets triggered on me. Hurting people hurt people!

I know now that I am loved. By many people! My thoughtful friend surprised me with a gift. My friend knows my heart for farm life and that I sell eggs at my little honor stand every week.

A few months ago this same person gifted me this scripture

I read this everyday. Sometimes, many times! At the time I received this, I had no idea what was just around the corner. God had already begun setting me apart from the abuser. This scripture and many others are my spiritual weapons. I am strong in faith because He is always with me wherever I go. His promises are my STRONG FOUNDATION, like a house built on the rock.

“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. Matthew 7:24-25

I am that house. I did not fall because I am built on the rock foundation that is Christ the Lord. When my house was being constructed last year, I wrote these words on the foundation.

My friends, build your life on the foundation of the most High God. The King of Kings! He is the only foundation that will not falter.

Love, brandi

Learning to Live Again

I could of missed the pain, but I’d a had too miss the dance.

Garth Brooks, The Dance

Learning to press forward, through the grief, is the greatest challenge of my life. Yes, grief is the right word. Even though no one has died, I grieve the loss of someone that chose to walk away.

There are days, when I know that this man’s rejection, is God’s protection of me. But telling that to my hurting heart, turns out to me easier said than done. The middle of the day is the hardest. Mornings are beautiful and new, a fresh start full of His fresh mercy. By the night time, I’m so tired from the activities and chores from the day, that falling asleep is welcomed. It’s the middle that feels the loneliest. As the day drags on, the chores are done, my morning Bible study and prayer time has ended. All the things that I wake up looking forward too, and then now what. I want to talk with my husband that’s what. I want him to love me and speak kindly to me as the afternoon passes…but I know, these are just dreams in my heart. The kind words never flowed and he does not love me.

So, I turn to the One who has always loved me. Even before I was formed He loved me. He has pursued me my entire life. Even, when I would follow my flesh, Jesus was always pursuing me. I’m His favorite! I always have been! So are you. But I didn’t always understand how much He loves me. Now I do! He calls me His beloved (deeply loved). He is the lover of my soul. The only One, that will never leave me or turn His face from me. He is healing my soul.

A fantastic book that is helping me to heal and I’m on my second reading of it, Healing the Soul of a woman by Joyce Meyer.

I will return to homesteading post soon. The journey continues, the animals need fed and the garden needs weeding, my heart needs the work. May God Bless you!